1 00:00:08,307 --> 00:00:11,374 [ Theme music playing ] 2 00:00:11,409 --> 00:00:13,178 [ Laughs ] 3 00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:15,147 [ Lever clicks ] 4 00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:23,848 ♪ 5 00:00:23,883 --> 00:00:26,257 It's alive! 6 00:00:26,292 --> 00:00:28,292 [ Robot chicken clucking ] 7 00:00:28,327 --> 00:00:34,056 ♪ 8 00:00:34,091 --> 00:00:36,168 [ Laughing evilly ] 9 00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:42,867 ♪ 10 00:00:43,507 --> 00:00:45,375 Oh, my God. We're gonna die! 11 00:00:45,410 --> 00:00:47,707 I didn't want to do this in the first place! 12 00:00:47,742 --> 00:00:49,115 We're gonna die. 13 00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:50,644 Oh, no, it's happening! 14 00:00:50,679 --> 00:00:52,316 - Ah! - Oh, phew. 15 00:00:52,351 --> 00:00:53,746 - Whew! - Wow, I saw my life flash before my eyes. 16 00:00:53,781 --> 00:00:55,286 - We really avoided -- - That was terrible. 17 00:00:55,321 --> 00:00:57,123 Ah, I thought that - was gonna be so much worse. 18 00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:58,124 [ Goose honks ] 19 00:00:58,159 --> 00:00:59,422 - Aww, look at the goose! - That's so cute. 20 00:00:59,457 --> 00:01:00,885 - So cute, look at that goose. - Oh, that's so cool. 21 00:01:05,364 --> 00:01:07,727 I heard she took a two-foot shit. 22 00:01:07,762 --> 00:01:08,893 For real? 23 00:01:08,928 --> 00:01:10,466 ♪ 24 00:01:11,095 --> 00:01:13,139 Finally, home after a long day 25 00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:16,406 of being the first president of the United States. 26 00:01:16,441 --> 00:01:18,034 [ Giggles ] - Who are you?! 27 00:01:18,069 --> 00:01:19,706 I'm George Washington Barbie. 28 00:01:19,741 --> 00:01:21,037 This is my life. 29 00:01:21,072 --> 00:01:23,908 Are you saying you want to kill me and then pose as me, 30 00:01:23,943 --> 00:01:25,074 George Washington, 31 00:01:25,109 --> 00:01:27,615 a man who is 6'3", has wooden teeth, 32 00:01:27,650 --> 00:01:30,618 and is the President of the United States? 33 00:01:30,653 --> 00:01:32,587 I cannot tell a lie. 34 00:01:32,622 --> 00:01:33,852 [ Gunshot ] - Ah! 35 00:01:33,887 --> 00:01:35,491 Now to complete my look. 36 00:01:35,526 --> 00:01:37,592 [ Grunting ] 37 00:01:37,627 --> 00:01:40,265 ♪ 38 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:41,761 Hmm. 39 00:01:41,796 --> 00:01:43,169 Ahhh! 40 00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:45,402 [ Crying ] 41 00:01:45,437 --> 00:01:47,965 ♪ 42 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,737 Mm, perfect! 43 00:01:50,772 --> 00:01:52,068 Hello, Mr. Washington. 44 00:01:52,103 --> 00:01:53,179 You shrunk, Sir. 45 00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:55,511 Hi, John Adams. [ Chuckles ] Cute wig. 46 00:01:55,546 --> 00:01:57,348 I am so sorry, - I don't want to ask this, 47 00:01:57,383 --> 00:02:00,109 but aren't you supposed to be a guy? 48 00:02:00,144 --> 00:02:01,715 I am. 49 00:02:01,750 --> 00:02:03,288 Well, the teeth are accurate. 50 00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:04,883 And check this out. 51 00:02:04,918 --> 00:02:07,259 Does this look like a girl part to you? 52 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,458 I don't know if you know this, sir, 53 00:02:08,493 --> 00:02:10,328 but your penis has termites. 54 00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:11,890 [ Screams ] 55 00:02:11,925 --> 00:02:13,496 Ahh! 56 00:02:13,531 --> 00:02:17,434 I declare the White House a dream house. 57 00:02:17,469 --> 00:02:18,633 [ Applause ] 58 00:02:18,668 --> 00:02:20,965 Man: George Washington Barbie never told a lie, 59 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,033 except for the lie that she was George Washington, 60 00:02:23,068 --> 00:02:25,607 although she was George Washington Barbie. 61 00:02:25,642 --> 00:02:26,608 The end. 62 00:02:26,643 --> 00:02:31,041 ♪ 63 00:02:31,076 --> 00:02:34,616 Oh, man. - You have insurance, right? 64 00:02:34,651 --> 00:02:35,419 Nope. 65 00:02:35,454 --> 00:02:37,355 Oh, man. 66 00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:40,985 Oh, boy, "Empire Strikes Back" is my favorite movie. 67 00:02:41,020 --> 00:02:43,823 "Luke, I am your father." 68 00:02:43,858 --> 00:02:47,189 Darth Vader: No, I am your father. 69 00:02:47,224 --> 00:02:49,565 [ Stammers ] That's not the line. 70 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,194 Young nerd, - Darth Vader never said "Luke" 71 00:02:52,229 --> 00:02:53,239 in that famous line. 72 00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:56,198 [ Gasps ] - The ghost of Nelson Mandela. 73 00:02:56,233 --> 00:02:59,135 You're experiencing the Mandela effect. 74 00:02:59,170 --> 00:03:01,412 It's named for - a collective false memory. 75 00:03:01,447 --> 00:03:03,447 Like when people - remember me dying in prison 76 00:03:03,482 --> 00:03:06,780 in the '80s when I actually died at home in 2013. 77 00:03:06,815 --> 00:03:08,144 Oh, like "The Berenstain Bears" 78 00:03:08,179 --> 00:03:10,014 actually being "The Berenstein Bears." 79 00:03:10,049 --> 00:03:11,686 It's actually the other way around. 80 00:03:11,721 --> 00:03:13,622 Or is it? 81 00:03:13,657 --> 00:03:14,755 Agree to disagree. 82 00:03:14,790 --> 00:03:16,988 Well, we need to fix "Star Wars." 83 00:03:17,023 --> 00:03:19,122 If only there was a way to go back in time. 84 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:21,762 There is. Take my hand. 85 00:03:21,797 --> 00:03:24,226 Your hand is a time machine? 86 00:03:24,261 --> 00:03:25,271 Pretty cool, right? 87 00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:27,735 Suck a "D," Bill and Ted. 88 00:03:27,770 --> 00:03:29,605 [ Gasps ] The original script. 89 00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:32,069 I'll fix the line - so it's the way I remember it. 90 00:03:32,104 --> 00:03:35,171 [ Mumbles ] - But there's more! 91 00:03:35,206 --> 00:03:36,810 Remember when Forrest Gump said, 92 00:03:36,845 --> 00:03:39,450 "Life is like a box of chocolates"? 93 00:03:39,485 --> 00:03:40,748 He actually said... 94 00:03:40,783 --> 00:03:45,390 Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. 95 00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:47,953 We got to correct this. 96 00:03:47,988 --> 00:03:49,856 Excuse me, Mr. Hanks, the studio said 97 00:03:49,891 --> 00:03:50,923 you got to change that line. 98 00:03:50,958 --> 00:03:52,397 [ Whispering ] 99 00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:53,794 For legal reasons. 100 00:03:53,829 --> 00:03:54,663 Thanks so much. 101 00:03:54,698 --> 00:03:55,928 Fucking bean counters. 102 00:03:55,963 --> 00:03:57,699 Always stepping on my art. 103 00:03:57,734 --> 00:03:59,503 Okay, back to one. 104 00:03:59,538 --> 00:04:01,868 Remember Curious George the monkey? 105 00:04:01,903 --> 00:04:05,575 Well, did you know - he never actually had a tail? 106 00:04:05,610 --> 00:04:07,137 Excuse me, H.A. Rey, no big deal, 107 00:04:07,172 --> 00:04:08,204 just emergency services. 108 00:04:08,239 --> 00:04:10,206 Here, I'll take that. 109 00:04:10,241 --> 00:04:13,583 Oh, I knew this monkey was missing something. 110 00:04:13,618 --> 00:04:15,178 Now let's go back to current times 111 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,884 to enjoy the fruits of our labor. 112 00:04:17,919 --> 00:04:19,556 Darth Vader: No, Luke, 113 00:04:19,591 --> 00:04:23,494 I am a closer relative than you think. 114 00:04:23,529 --> 00:04:25,562 Oh, no, my penmanship. 115 00:04:25,597 --> 00:04:27,333 I made it worse. - It's okay. 116 00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,093 Turn on "Forrest Gump." 117 00:04:29,128 --> 00:04:31,403 Life is a box. 118 00:04:34,265 --> 00:04:35,704 Oh, no. 119 00:04:35,739 --> 00:04:38,036 Well, at least Curious George doesn't have to say anything. 120 00:04:38,071 --> 00:04:40,940 Turn on PBS. 121 00:04:40,975 --> 00:04:43,074 Not what I pictured, but I like it. 122 00:04:43,109 --> 00:04:44,713 A big monkey wiener? 123 00:04:44,748 --> 00:04:47,309 I bet everyone - will be curious about that. 124 00:04:47,344 --> 00:04:49,278 [ Both laugh ] 125 00:04:51,656 --> 00:04:53,656 Oh, mm. Oh, baby. 126 00:04:53,691 --> 00:04:55,119 Unh. Oh, baby. 127 00:04:55,154 --> 00:04:56,362 Do I have to leave this thing on? 128 00:04:57,530 --> 00:04:59,662 Yeah, you spin that web. 129 00:04:59,697 --> 00:05:01,257 [ Grunts ] 130 00:05:01,292 --> 00:05:02,533 Mmm. - [ Laughs ] 131 00:05:02,568 --> 00:05:04,227 Want a cereal that tastes great 132 00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:05,701 and helps release pent-up rage? 133 00:05:05,736 --> 00:05:06,768 Yeah! 134 00:05:06,803 --> 00:05:08,770 Time to give breakfast what it deserves. 135 00:05:08,805 --> 00:05:10,376 Z-oh-diacs -- the nutritious 136 00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:11,839 whole-grain cereal with the excitement 137 00:05:11,874 --> 00:05:13,544 of a late '60s killing spree! 138 00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:15,711 Toasted oats in the same fun shapes 139 00:05:15,746 --> 00:05:17,207 as my cryptograms. 140 00:05:17,242 --> 00:05:19,979 And the back of every box has a cypher puzzle. 141 00:05:20,014 --> 00:05:22,421 Wow. - Delicious and entertaining? 142 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:23,620 Who are you? 143 00:05:23,655 --> 00:05:25,853 [ Laughs ] Nobody knows, 144 00:05:25,888 --> 00:05:28,284 which is why we've mixed in multi-colored marshmallows 145 00:05:28,319 --> 00:05:31,320 that look like the suspects people thought I might be. 146 00:05:31,355 --> 00:05:32,893 The police detective, the librarian, 147 00:05:32,928 --> 00:05:34,059 the Navy veteran. 148 00:05:34,094 --> 00:05:36,061 They even got the guy with a deathbed confession. 149 00:05:36,096 --> 00:05:38,294 He's -- ha -- delicious! 150 00:05:38,329 --> 00:05:39,229 And also not guilty. 151 00:05:39,264 --> 00:05:40,439 Murder-licious! 152 00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,606 I hope they never find you. 153 00:05:42,641 --> 00:05:44,069 It's been 50 years. 154 00:05:44,104 --> 00:05:46,104 I'd say you've got nothing to worry about, 155 00:05:46,139 --> 00:05:47,809 except the safety of your parents. 156 00:05:47,844 --> 00:05:49,679 - [ Screams ] - Z-oh-diacs -- 157 00:05:49,714 --> 00:05:51,681 Unsolvably delicious. 158 00:05:54,950 --> 00:05:57,214 ♪ Old McThanos had a farm ♪ 159 00:05:57,249 --> 00:05:59,524 ♪ T-H-A-N-O-S ♪ 160 00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:01,625 ♪ And on that farm, he had the only chickens ♪ 161 00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:03,187 ♪ Left in the galaxy ♪ 162 00:06:03,222 --> 00:06:05,464 ♪ T-H-A-N-O-S ♪ 163 00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:06,861 ♪ With a snap-snap here ♪ 164 00:06:06,896 --> 00:06:08,258 ♪ And a snap-snap there ♪ 165 00:06:08,293 --> 00:06:09,501 ♪ Here a snap, there a snap ♪ 166 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,733 ♪ Everywhere a snap-snap ♪ 167 00:06:10,768 --> 00:06:12,834 ♪ Old McThanos had a farm ♪ 168 00:06:12,869 --> 00:06:16,772 ♪ T-H-A-N-O ♪ 169 00:06:16,807 --> 00:06:17,740 Oh. 170 00:06:17,775 --> 00:06:18,741 Oh, shit. 171 00:06:18,776 --> 00:06:21,370 [ Siren wailing ] 172 00:06:21,405 --> 00:06:23,911 [ Cheering ] 173 00:06:26,377 --> 00:06:29,048 [ Crowd booing ] 174 00:06:29,083 --> 00:06:33,085 ♪ 175 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:37,562 [ All shouting indistinctly ] 176 00:06:38,895 --> 00:06:40,829 Whoa, this ain't Denny's. 177 00:06:40,864 --> 00:06:43,161 It's a cool dance. You guys a cult? 178 00:06:43,196 --> 00:06:44,767 I was in a cult once. They kicked me out 179 00:06:44,802 --> 00:06:47,363 for siphoning gas from the cult leader's Camaro. 180 00:06:47,398 --> 00:06:48,705 [ All shout indistinctly ] 181 00:06:48,740 --> 00:06:50,476 Hey, you ever siphon gas? 182 00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:53,743 It's a real easy way to accidentally drink gas. 183 00:06:53,778 --> 00:06:55,547 All: No! No way! 184 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,779 Oh, invisible kids. 185 00:06:56,814 --> 00:06:58,781 Is it cool if I hit my vape in here? 186 00:06:58,816 --> 00:07:00,442 All: No, no! 187 00:07:00,477 --> 00:07:02,411 [ Shouting indistinctly ] 188 00:07:02,446 --> 00:07:04,281 I'd leave, but I'm not real sure 189 00:07:04,316 --> 00:07:05,887 how I got here in the first place, 190 00:07:05,922 --> 00:07:07,185 and the last thing I remember, 191 00:07:07,220 --> 00:07:09,594 I was sniffing a shit ton of airplane glue. 192 00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:10,859 No way, get out! 193 00:07:10,894 --> 00:07:14,764 Okay, that pokey, stabby feeling feels real familiar. 194 00:07:14,799 --> 00:07:16,799 That's definitely a NARCAN injection. 195 00:07:16,834 --> 00:07:18,262 Yeah. Guess they're calling me home. 196 00:07:18,297 --> 00:07:19,802 Arrivederci. 197 00:07:21,135 --> 00:07:22,167 [ Cheering ] 198 00:07:22,202 --> 00:07:23,740 ♪ 199 00:07:23,775 --> 00:07:25,368 But why bats, Master Bruce? 200 00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:26,545 Bruce: They scare me, Alfred. 201 00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:29,306 I want my enemies - to experience that fear. 202 00:07:29,341 --> 00:07:31,011 Let's take a look at this baby. 203 00:07:32,146 --> 00:07:34,586 [ Screams ] - I look like a giant bat! 204 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:35,950 Get me out of this thing! 205 00:07:35,985 --> 00:07:38,018 [ Screaming ] Get it off, get it off, get it off! 206 00:07:38,053 --> 00:07:39,987 Get it off! It's on my arm! It's on my face! 207 00:07:40,022 --> 00:07:41,989 Ahh! Fuck! The bats are on me! 208 00:07:42,024 --> 00:07:44,794 [ Screaming ] 209 00:07:44,829 --> 00:07:45,927 I hate bats! 210 00:07:45,962 --> 00:07:47,533 Oh! [ Screams ] 211 00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:49,326 I am a bat! The bat is on me! 212 00:07:49,361 --> 00:07:51,537 [ Screams ] It's all over me! 213 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:52,736 Get me out of this thing! 214 00:07:52,771 --> 00:07:54,034 [ Screams ] 215 00:07:54,069 --> 00:07:56,608 I'm inside the bat! 216 00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,269 [ Gasps ] Cookies? 217 00:07:58,304 --> 00:08:01,140 Yes, me accept. 218 00:08:01,175 --> 00:08:03,043 Me click yes cookies. 219 00:08:03,078 --> 00:08:04,308 Where cookies? 220 00:08:04,343 --> 00:08:05,716 Ahhh! Cookies! 221 00:08:05,751 --> 00:08:08,983 Cookies! No cookies? What is real? 222 00:08:09,018 --> 00:08:10,820 Me trust nothing. 223 00:08:10,855 --> 00:08:13,988 Welcome to Domino's. Can I interest you in a pizza? 224 00:08:14,023 --> 00:08:15,759 Everyone on the fucking ground. 225 00:08:15,794 --> 00:08:17,222 It's the Noid. - What? 226 00:08:17,257 --> 00:08:20,599 The Domino's mascot from 1986 to 1995. 227 00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:22,458 He's the physical manifestation of everything 228 00:08:22,493 --> 00:08:24,031 that can go wrong when ordering a pizza. 229 00:08:24,066 --> 00:08:27,397 Nearly a decade of service to the Domino's Corporation, 230 00:08:27,432 --> 00:08:28,838 and how did they repay me? 231 00:08:28,873 --> 00:08:30,708 By kicking me to the curb! 232 00:08:30,743 --> 00:08:32,501 What went wrong, Mr. Noid? 233 00:08:32,536 --> 00:08:35,746 In 1996, a man with the last name Noid 234 00:08:35,781 --> 00:08:38,947 took a Domino's hostage, believing the Noid was created 235 00:08:38,982 --> 00:08:39,882 to mock him. 236 00:08:39,917 --> 00:08:41,719 His demands -- free pizza, 237 00:08:41,754 --> 00:08:45,184 a white limo, and the end of the Noid in Domino's advertising. 238 00:08:45,219 --> 00:08:47,890 And those spineless suits caved to him. 239 00:08:47,925 --> 00:08:49,155 Wait, is this shit real? 240 00:08:49,190 --> 00:08:50,794 Yeah. - Check the Wikipedia page. 241 00:08:50,829 --> 00:08:53,863 Point is, now I'm the one with the gun, 242 00:08:53,898 --> 00:08:56,701 and I demand that Domino's bring back the Noid. 243 00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:58,901 [ Siren wails ] Man: Come on out with your hands up. 244 00:08:58,936 --> 00:09:02,333 Not unless Domino's brings back the Noid. 245 00:09:02,368 --> 00:09:05,743 Uh, oh, okay. Sure, we can do that. 246 00:09:05,778 --> 00:09:08,944 Shit. The Noid is back, baby! 247 00:09:08,979 --> 00:09:11,012 [ Gunfire ] 248 00:09:11,047 --> 00:09:13,311 [ Tires squeal, siren wails ] 249 00:09:14,985 --> 00:09:17,722 Can I get garlic knots with those meat lover pizzas? 250 00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:20,824 Yodels, Ho Hos, Doodles, 251 00:09:20,859 --> 00:09:23,552 Ding Dongs, Ring Dings, King Dons, Ring Kings, 252 00:09:23,587 --> 00:09:25,026 Ring Dongs, Ding Ring Dongs, 253 00:09:25,061 --> 00:09:25,994 Ding Dang Doodle Dogs. 254 00:09:26,029 --> 00:09:28,260 Dad! Mom's doing it again. 255 00:09:28,295 --> 00:09:30,196 Triple Dipple Ding Dong Dipple Dongs. 256 00:09:30,231 --> 00:09:33,562 [ Indistinct conversations ] 257 00:09:33,597 --> 00:09:35,773 Oh hey, so that's season 11. 258 00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:37,775 Thanks to the musical guests, Yaboobas. 259 00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:39,876 Also, thanks to the Zodiac Killer... Not guilty. 260 00:09:39,911 --> 00:09:41,746 ...the ghost of Nelson Mandela, and of course, 261 00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:43,605 both slices of American cheese. 262 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:45,112 Oh, and Tom Hanks' brother, Jim. 263 00:09:45,147 --> 00:09:46,179 Thanks, Jim! Yeah. 264 00:09:46,214 --> 00:09:47,950 See you next year if we don't get canceled. 265 00:09:47,985 --> 00:09:50,854 Good night, everybody! 266 00:09:50,889 --> 00:09:54,759 I cannot wait to not see your fucking face for six months. 267 00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:56,486 Fuck you, fuck face. 268 00:09:56,521 --> 00:09:59,390 Thanks for cutting my sketch at the last minute, assholes. 269 00:09:59,425 --> 00:10:01,590 I wasn't even in this episode. [ Chuckles ] 270 00:10:01,625 --> 00:10:03,702 That Noid sketch went over like a brick balloon, huh? 271 00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:05,330 [ Laughs ] Go back and vote for Brexit, 272 00:10:05,365 --> 00:10:06,331 you fucking idiot. 273 00:10:06,366 --> 00:10:07,464 Your opinion means nothing to me. 274 00:10:07,499 --> 00:10:08,971 The Zodiac Killer just escaped 275 00:10:09,006 --> 00:10:10,170 with the whole party sub. 276 00:10:10,205 --> 00:10:12,073 You know, on "Suits," we had a full taco bar 277 00:10:12,108 --> 00:10:13,877 seven days a week. 278 00:10:13,912 --> 00:10:15,340 I fucking love "Suits." 279 00:10:15,375 --> 00:10:17,210 - Yeah. - Taco bar. 280 00:10:17,245 --> 00:10:19,883 [ Both shouting ] 281 00:10:19,918 --> 00:10:22,886 I've had just about enough of your bullshit. 282 00:10:22,921 --> 00:10:25,757 I will punch a hole through my own fucking face 283 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,617 if these goddamn credits don't end right the fuck n-- 284 00:10:30,225 --> 00:10:37,901 ♪ 285 00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:42,466 21, engage the doom cannon. 286 00:10:42,501 --> 00:10:45,139 Dude, we got canceled. Forget it. It's over. 287 00:10:45,174 --> 00:10:46,943 Come on, think of the fans, Doc. 288 00:10:46,978 --> 00:10:48,274 Yeah, that's what I'm doing. 289 00:10:48,309 --> 00:10:51,750 They deserve better this creepy Pinocchio bullshit. 290 00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,477 Don't break the puppet, dude. 291 00:10:53,512 --> 00:10:55,083 We could sell it on eBay.